House (1977): I Just Really Want You To Watch House (1977)

The only thing I can assure those who haven't seen House is that this post will not prepare you for the film because that's literally impossible. But I'm here to tell you this bonkers piece of cinema is an absolute must-see for pretty much everybody. 

As released on home media through the Criterion Collection, 1977's House makes a striking first impression with a cover like a cabaret poster from a madcap hell. That's a pretty darn accurate impression to give people, all things considered. I'd find it a very difficult ask to advertise this film in any sufficient manner.

The film itself is a Japanese project (titled Hausu there to sound transgressively Anglo) released by iconic film studio Toho, who gave the world Godzilla. In the wake of Steven Spielberg's blockbuster-originating classic Jaws, Toho wanted a piece of the pie and wanted to create a film that could be a rival phenomenon. Director Nobuhiko Obayashi, known for commercials beforehand, got himself signed to direct the project by relentlessly promoting the film before production happened and without the studio's approval, generating enough hype for House that they basically had to go along with his vision. His vision itself defies all expectation and convention to create a surreal, fantastical, comedic, inventive take on a horror movie that's too childlike to be scary and so weird you'll never forget any second of it. House can accurately be described as a subversive arthouse slice-of-life high-school martial arts haunted-house horror slasher fantasy comedy movie. It's truly all of those things. It's absolutely nothing like Jaws and the film didn't become what Toho asked for...but it's amazing and I'm so glad it survived as a cult classic. The film is ironic and joyful in sensibility, absolutely nutso in its imaginative visuals and crazy scenes, has commentary on resentment toward young people untouched by a generation-defining tragedy, and was literally co-created by a child, Obayashi's daughter, and used the surreal, unique ideas she had of what was scary. 

Because the film is so strange and whimsical that it's not truly upsetting, House is one of the most accessible and enjoyable horror films out there, and the pure surprise factor behind all of its tonal choices and scenes makes it a wild, wild ride for anybody. Please, I'm begging you, watch this movie because it's a trip. 

[The only content warning I will throw in here is that the film features a couple of nude scenes and some bloody imagery that cement the film as not being kid-appropriate despite how accessible it otherwise feels. This is not an all-ages film.]

A synopsis is neither able to do the film justice nor the most relevant aspect of the film, but the basic idea is that the story follows a friend group of high-school girls and stock archetypes all nicknamed after the role they fill in the classic friend group (none of their real names are used). There's Gorgeous, the trendy, pretty one; Fantasy, the flighty one whose reputation for fancy leaves her unbelieved when she notices weird stuff; Mac (for "stomach"), the one who likes food a lot and is completely unreasonably referred to as fat; Melody, the musician; Prof, the nerdy researcher; Sweet, a shy girl who likes pretty things; and Kung Fu, the athletic martial artist. Gorgeous is upset because in full soap-opera fashion, her dad came back from a trip with a surprise new wife. Gorgeous decides to write her auntie to visit and get away from the domestic shakeup that has just been sprung on her. Auntie welcomes Gorgeous and her friends to her country villa, but very soon, things go wrong as Auntie and her cat and her house menace the girls in the slasher format with bizarre supernatural events that seem to result in the girls being preyed upon with their signature traits and devoured in some form by the house and Auntie herself. The film has huge variety in scares and imagery, and the visuals are colorful with striking, earnest visual effects that are often amateurish in a charming way. Auntie herself is indicated to have twisted into something bitter and supernatural because her fiancé was killed in World War II, and she resents being an old maid and seeing young girls who are unmarried and happy and totally untouched by the horrors she suffered, so there is salient thematic commentary in the film. (Obayashi himself was affected by the horrors of the atomic bombings, and seems to have channeled his generation's isolation and pain from that into the story.)

That's absolutely not what makes the film so incredible, though.

If we want to approach this more academically, then House is the most delightful experimental meta-subversive art film I've ever seen because the entire production seems to joyfully revel in its artifice and the capability of filmmaking, subverting classical film wholly and purely to have fun with it. House can be called arthouse experimental cinema, but it can't be called pretentious because it doesn't feel like it demands anything of the viewer but their enjoyment, and doesn't view itself as anything but a cool fun time. It is subversive, but it's silly. We see shots like the girls getting off a bus in front of a matte backdrop copying the wide landscape behind it, and the next shot closes in on the girls, using the matte painting instead of the real scenery right behind it. That's a commentary on artifice, but it's also just a lighthearted gag! Cartoony irises highlight things, characters lean into frame from other scenes, characters comment on the visuals of a flashback scene, and the film just seems to dance around with whatever will make things more interesting and fun to watch, taking apart film for aesthetic wonder above all else. This is an intensely lovable film because you can just feel the good spirit behind its craft. 

And of course, again, the main appeal of the film is how wildly unpredictable and immensely entertaining it is. You'll never see a haunted-house movie like this. Everything is so whimsical, so insane, so colorful and imaginatively bizarre, that the film truly sounds like Mad Libs when you describe certain events. I'll only give one example of what I mean because blind as you can go is the best way to view the film:  It is an entirely correct scene description to say "The teacher Fantasy has a crush on gets in a heated argument about bananas with the watermelon seller before the watermelon man turns into a 2D cartoon skeleton and the teacher becomes a heap of bananas."

It just feels like the movie is always on and always enthralling with its unpredictable weirdness and strong imagery, horror-related or not. It's so much fun to watch something so ceaselessly interesting and imaginative. It's not a character drama or a really scary film, but it's one of the best rides any movie has taken me on. The film does have genuinely eerie moments mixed into the fray, but nothing feels out of tone with anything else. The comedy enhances the horror enhances the comedy. House is a genre on its own and I love it.  

I guess you could take the perspective that House is too weird for its own good and that its messaging is let down by how distractingly bizarre the film is...but I'd say that's missing the gold right in front of you. The film is a wonderful experience because it's so strange and exciting and its messages merely add a dash of substance to style that makes the entire film worth watching all on its own. There are great horror films that will give you a really bad time, but House is one of the few I can unequivocally say is a cheerfully fun ride through and through. It's high on the list of the most fun horror films out there, and you just gotta see it. 

You're still not ready, though.